Knock down, Drag out fight with the man in my life

Nyah, not with the tall dude. We don’ t fight, we discuss and we change the subject to Quantum physics. Really. Not kidding. Or Samuel Beckett. Or Botox, anything that isn’t argumentative. Do you want a carrot?

Well, back to the subject at hand. My Garmin HATES me. I drove to River Falls last night. This is NOT the sort of place that requires a lot of turns. Hop on 94 and it’s a straight shot to the RF exit. Then town. Town, BTW has grown quite a bit since I lived here in the ’90’s. There is ACTUALLY a Mc Donalds! Who’d a thunk it!

I thought it might be interesting to use the GPS. I wasn’t sure where the Super 8/Highland Inn no star motel was, so it was my end point. And off we went.

All went well, other than the glitch it has with the ramp close to my house. It keeps telling me to do a u’ey in the middle of the ramp. I think NOT.

Continued down ’94 until I noticed I needed gas. The next ramp was to Elk Mound, WI. I kid you not, Elk Mound. Get off, and the fun begins.

Garmin: Get back on 94 (Male accent free voice)

No. I need gas.

Garmin: Turn left on P.

I haven’t found a gas station yet.

Garmin: It DOESN’T Matter. (Recalculating) Make U turn.

I CAN’T. It’s another freeway. NO U TURN.

Garmin: Make U Turn now, you are 15 miles from 94, you have no choice unless you want a new destination.

FIND ME A GAS STATION!

Garmin: That is beyond the scope of my duties.

SCREW YOU (Turns my Dragonfly in Amber audiobook louder.)

Garmin: Turn that down. You’re lost, aren’t you,

*Sigh* Yes. No gas station and it’s dark.

Garmin: Make a u turn at Q

Does it have a sign?

Garmin: Does it matter? *Makes U turn. Finds 94* Are you happy now? Garmin: Continue on 94

*Finds another exit, gets off*

Garmin: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

*Get Gas*

Garmin: Where ARE We?

Isn’t that YOUR job

* Garmin: *mutter* Stupid bitch. (recalculating)

*Tosses Garmin behind me*

Garmin: *muffled* You’re not going to find the Super 8

I’ll find a bum and ask them. I am woman, I ASK for directions.

Garmin: Fine. Whatever. Stupid bitch.

Now I know why you only cost 60 bucks.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Knock down, Drag out fight with the man in my life

  1. Gods Mud, this is hilarious!!!
    I have the same thing!!!! Could it be that they’ve managed to put AI into GPS?! Could that be possible?!
    I mean, they do shout. They DO get uppity and say: Turn Left. TURN LEFT! LEFT!!!!
    Or are we just really lonely?!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s